Currently.

Reading:  I recently finished Fashion to Reign: Empowering Women to Fulfill Their Divine Destiny, by Kris Vallotton, and let me tell you, it is so good!  I won't go into detail here - it's one of those books that you have to read for yourself, and not just accept my view and opinion on the matter.  I first found out about this book through listening to this podcast. In a matter of seven days I listened to that episode three times over. There was so much information to grasp and contemplate and search out for myself. I highly recommend both the book and the podcast episode.

I am currently reading Eight Twenty Eight by Ian + Larissa Murphy. 

Loving:  This weather! Cool crisp mornings, sunny afternoons, the smell of ripening grapes, cozy layers, leather ankle booties, hot lattes, speckles of burnt orange and golden yellow kissing the greenery... Autumn has always been my favorite time of year. 

Dreaming:  Fitfully. I just want a solid night's sleep again. Up until teething, Carson had been sleeping well at night... now, not so much. Hello dark circles under the eyes. 

Wishing:  To relive our west coast trip. (Future blog post, perhaps.) The vacation was so refreshing, the rugged beauty breath-taking, and the quality time with my two favorites was what this heart of mine longed for. 

Thinking About:  Ethical fashion, cultivating a capsule wardrobe, and life lived with intention and contentment. I feel like this, too, could be an entire blog post.

In the mean time, check out this blog for information on how truly beautiful and practical a capsule wardrobe can be. I LOVE Caroline's style -- I could wear any of her outfit combinations and feel perfectly myself. 
I also like this Youtube channel for minimalist inspiration. And last but not least, isn't this shop so fun? I am drooling over that Mamuye tote in Cognac. 

Listening:  To Adurey Assad on repeat. I especially love this song. 

Watching:  Nothing movie wise. Remember the last time I did a post like this? I talked about going to see Mom's Night Out... well, that was the last time I watched a movie. (That was back in May, folks.) I keep trying to convince Herm to do a movie night with me, but he refuses. Any suggestions for non-boring-non-chic-flick-lots-of-action-and-suspense movies that I won't fall asleep to so that we can do a movie night? 

Trying:  To vamp up my workout routine now that summer is over. I did well with staying active throughout the summer with running regularly and a few kettlebell and HIIT rountines thrown in the mix. However, I would like to take it up a notch or two now that we're moving into fall and winter months. Do you have any favorite workouts? I love changing things up, so I am always on the lookout for new routines... Do share!

DIY: The Kitchen Project

This post is way over-due. My kitchen has been "finished" for over a year already. I think its definitely time I document it. 

Let's get started, shall we?

I met Herm the weekend he came up to New York to have closing on his house. I think it was probably a good thing that he had already purchased the property before we were married, because honestly I don't think I would have seen the potential that he saw. The stench of smoke, the yellowed walls, and the cigarette burns in the carpet would have kept me from noticing the gorgeous lake view. The mounds of garbage littering the yard and the overgrown flowerbeds would have distracted me from the stream with several waterfalls running through the woods.

 When Herm was on the market for a house friends had mentioned this place to him. He said he looked at the ad and knew he would never buy it, but came to check it out anyhow. When he pulled into the drive a herd of deer were in the front yard and Keuka Lake was sparkling in the distance. I'm not even sure if he noticed the many imperfections after that. This place was a hunters paradise and he knew it was the one. 

Thanksgiving of 2011 the entire Esh family came up to help Herm get the house cleaned up so that he could move in. They spent hours scrubbing and wiping and painting. Bless them!

This is before they cleaned. The place was trashed.

About nine months later we were married. 

The house was very livable by the time I moved in, but it was a man-cave through and through, so I went to work and started adding my touch to the place. There are still days when all I see is the cigarette burned carpets and wonder how much longer it'll be until we can remodel... but when I look over these pictures and see just how far it has come I am amazed. I love this house and I love the man who saw potential and knew this was were he wanted to start a family. <3

This was after I moved in, but before I painted

I didn't want to spend a lot of money redoing our kitchen, because our long-term goal is the remodel the entire house, but the cabinets and counter tops drove me crazy! They were a cheap yellowy-beige Formica that screamed early 90's. In general I don't enjoy working in the kitchen, but I do spend a lot of time there, so I was determined to figure out a way to change the cabinets and counter-tops that was affordable. I was shooting for less than $100.

Prep work is so time consuming. This stage was pretty intense.

I love the look of concrete, but I do realize that it's pretty time consuming, and from what I've heard, its tricky to perfect as well. Pinterest was my go-to research tool. I found tons of tutorials and blogs and ideas on there. One of the blogs I found showed a beautiful kitchen makeover - including painted counter tops that looked like concrete! I decided to give it a try. Check out this blog post if you want to see what kind of paint I used. Just be warned: It's NASTY stuff. Herm and I painted the counter tops one evening and then promptly left for the weekend. When we returned the house still smelled horrible.

Look at the difference! Much, much better.

Another thing I wanted in my kitchen was a subway tile back splash. I priced tile out at Lowes and knew it would be too expensive. My sister, Kate, is super talented; she paints, she draws, she sews, she does carpentry, she's a photographer, and she's single ;-). That said, I started bugging her about painting tile for me. She was willing to help out. I painted the entire back splash area white, then she put extremely thin painters tape on the walls in a tile pattern and started blending shades of grey and green over top. After she was finished, we pulled off the painters tape and... tada! We had tile with grout. Kate's brilliant. 

Nobody is willing to take my word on the tile being paint.
They always need to touch it first.  

And finally, I wanted a coffee/wine bar. Our kitchen is really tiny with limited counter top work space. There was an awkward spot by the fridge where there could have been more work space, but all it boasted was a trash can. So, again I went to someone super talented with another idea... I asked Herm to build a cabinet for me where I could have the coffee grinder and coffee pot, along with my espresso machine on top, and where the microwave could be stored out of sight, because we really don't use it often and it was taking up so much room on the counter. 

Don't you love when you have an idea of what the project will look like and after it's all finished it looks so much better than what you even imaged? Me too!   

The wood was reclaimed from an old barn. We first used it
to make a table for our bridal party to use at our wedding,
and then Herm used it again to make this. He also put
a piece of glass on top of the wood for easy clean up.

The shelf above the coffee bar was made out of old metal handrails that were attached to our garage and an old piece of lumber.

Oh, one more thing... The island area of our kitchen boarders the living and dining room. (it's an open floor plan.) Whenever we host people, we always end up hanging out around the kitchen, so we decided that instead of just having a wall area to lean on, we should make a bar area to sit at. Herm is an artist through and through. He went to work and made a butchers block counter top for the bar. It was all reclaimed lumber that he stripped down into thin sections and glued together. It added the final touch our little kitchen needed to be cozy and enjoyable. 

Do you have any DIY tricks of your own? I would love to hear them!

-Sarah

Sabrina

I was filing for her adoption, wading through mountains of paperwork, due dates, deadlines. We were back on that tiny island in the West Indies that I use to call home.

At the orphanage, she was still bound to the same broken-down toddler stroller that she using when I lived there over three years ago. Bed sheets tied about her ankles and waist held her captive. Her seven year old gangly legs where much too long for the stroller; she was in need of an upgrade, she was in need of a child's wheel chair.

We searched the island, but to no avail. There simply wasn't a chair suitable for her. I recruited prayer warriors, asking them to plead our case to the Father. He knew this child needed love, He knew this child needed a place to called home. With us she could live a better life, one where she would be loved. One where her days could be spent in a wheel chair fitted to her frame and where at night she could sleep without being tied to the baluster of the infant crib prison she currently lived in. 

I was on my way to a meeting with CDA. We were going to find out if Sabrina would be coming to live with us, to be our precious daughter... 

That's when I woke up. It was all a dream.

The dream didn't effect my usual morning routine. I fed Carson, started the laundry, emptied the dishwasher, and laced up my running shoes... during my run, flashbacks of the dream kept coming to me. All I could think of was precious Sabrina and all of the other Sabrina-children out there. The physically and mentally handicap children who are living a life that's pure hell. 

I don't know what sparked this dream so vivid. Was it from the Facebook status's of friends of mine who are currently in the midst of an adoption in Jamaica? Was it because I recently read a quote by a disabled man who said that being disabled in the States is equivalent to living in a third world country? Was it from my conversation with a local artist, who happens to be handicap, earlier this week? Whatever the reason for the dream, I know that it shook me. 

It made me aware again.

It made me desire change. Change in my life and in the way I treat people. It made me want to be more than just kind and courteous to everyone. I want to be a difference maker.

I have mulled over that dream all week long, which makes me realize it was more than coincidence. 

It was God speaking, reminding me...  Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. || Matthew 25:40


PLEASE NOTE: Sabrina lived in a children's home with a lot of other children between the ages of newborn and eight. All of the children there were cared for and loved on by an amazing team of ladies and men on staff and volunteers as well. While her situation was less than ideal, she was bound to her stroller or crib for her own personal safety, as she often had spills and head bumps onto the tile floor and elsewhere. One on one attention would have been amazing for her, but as it was, the staff was stretched thin among the very active toddlers and school aged children. Please know that I am not in any way discrediting the work of the children's home through this post. I just feel my dream about Sabrina was to awaken me to the situations around me no matter where I am, whether its here in the States or oversees.  

Little Man

Little Man, seven months old already? And what a joy-filled seven months it has been!

I haven't done the most amazing job at documenting your little milestones. Although I attempted, the journal has only an entry or two and that list of "firsts" that I keep on my iPhone is outdated by a few months. I won't give up though... I am trying again.

At seven months you are very mobile, but crawling is too babyish for you and often you insist on grabbing on to my hands so that you can walk around. You have started to pull yourself up and you are really good at sitting up alone. Ice cream is your food of choice and you aren't very fond of the sweet potatoes I cooked for you; obviously you are your fathers child. 

I am almost certain your first word is 'Mama', although you haven't used it in context yet. (Stop saying it when you're looking at Rambo. Just stop.) You'll get there.

You are very high energy and can be headstrong. I hope you keep both of those traits throughout your childhood and into your adult life. I know that probably means a lot of extra work and prayer on the part of your dad and I, but when cultivated, those traits make for strong leaders and people of influence.

You are a happy little man. Except when you are teething. I am really hoping that tooth you are currently working on pops through soon - for your sake and mine.

You are the best little side-kick ever, always tagging along whether I am running or biking, gardening or cleaning, grocery shopping or cooking supper or just relaxing. You are teaching me more about God and His love for His children. Through guiding and teaching you I am learning... 

Like I said earlier, you have filled our lives with joy-overflowing. We treasure you.

Love,

Mom

Utterly Mundane

"We don't do very many grand and significant things in our life. Most of us will not be written up in history books. Most of us will only be remembered by family and perhaps a few friends. Most of us will be forgotten in two or three generations after our deaths. There simply are not many grand moments of life, and we surely don't live life in those moments. No, we live life in the utterly mundane. We exist in the bathrooms, bedrooms, living rooms, and hallways of life. This is where the character of our life is set. This is where we live the life of faith." 

- Paul Tripp, Age of Opportunity 

I had read that quote before, but it never really resonated with me until recently. 

One of my summer goals is to slow life down. To start enjoying each and every day to the fullest instead of always looking at what lays before me; to embrace where I am at and who I am with. 

I will work at resting.

Before you think that I am trying to justify day after day spent at the pool with a good book and iced coffee, hear me out.

In order to feel accomplished, I write out a to-do list and start crossing things off. A good day is often defined by the amount of projects I am able to scratch off the list. But having an active little child around causes even menial tasks to take longer. 

In the middle of what was an extremely busy week for me, I heard myself saying "just wait, mommy has to finish this first..." for the umpteenth time, as Carson sat among scattered toys, crying, arms stretch, reaching for me. 

I am making laundry and yard work and cleaning other peoples homes more important than my little boys needs. The thought hit me like a sack of bricks. I wasn't dealing with many deadlines or due dates, it was day to day tasks that could wait a few hours or even a few days. 

When my children are grown, I want to be able to reflect on their lives and remember the little everyday moments like rocking them to sleep and reading Guess How Much I Love You to them so often that I could recite it word for word without the book. I want to take them on adventures that they'll reminisce as adults. 

True accomplishment as a mom isn't keeping an immaculate home, never allowing the laundry to pile up, or having a weedless garden, but rather it is to love well; to be present; to instruct hearts; to give them Jesus.

 So to myself I propose this idea: 

The lists of projects can wait; there are making-memories lists to be checked off.

  

Those Mom Jeans

This blog post was inspired from a card I recently received. I'm thinking it's time I start rocking other jeans perhaps?

WANTED: Someone who loves shopping, has a classy sense of style, and is good at convincing frugal tight-wads to spend money, to help revamp wardrobe. Would need to evaluate current closet then go to thrift stores, boutiques and the mall, putting outfits together and critiquing them on the model (me). Pay is minimal, but selected applicant would enjoy coffee + pastries from a local coffee house on me.  
For those who would like to apply, please leave a comment below!

All joking aside, my closet is very basic and mostly made up of pieces that work better for fall and winter. I feel like having a baby has completely changed my shape, and things that used to work great no longer fit well. Shopping isn't something I enjoy at all, so it truly would be a dream come true to have someone else do it for me. Any takers? =)

Currently.

Reading: Make Way for McCloskey, gifted to Carson by his Auntie Kate. This collection is nostalgic; I can still picture myself tucked beside my dad on the living room sofa as he read One Morning in Maine to me and my siblings. He worked hard from the crack of dawn until well into the evening on our dairy farm, so by eight or eight-thirty he was often dozing off. Mid-sentence his eyes would droop low and his head would hang forward. Dad, wake up, we would say, poking him hard. You didn't finish the story yet. You have to finish the story! Now I read those same stories to Carson. When his attention drifts else where, I will silently read the rest of that story before closing the book. Carson is only five months old, but I firmly believe one is never to young to appreciate the classics. I hope that some day, he too, has a love of reading.

Loving: This beautiful spring weather! Winter doesn't bother me, in fact I rather enjoy it. But this year it did seem to drag out a bit. Maybe it was because most of my days were spent at home since going out in single digit temperatures with a newborn isn't enjoyable. Maybe it was because I was training for this race and running outside wasn't happening as often as I would have liked. Or maybe it was simply because it was an unusually hard winter. No matter. Spring is here, and its here to stay. Flowers are beginning to bloom, and I've cut the grass several times now. Running first thing in the morning with Carson and Rambo is becoming somewhat of a ritual. And, my mom graciously watched Carson for me on several occasions so I could working in their vineyard. It was wonderful!

Dreaming: That I over slept for the garage saleing adventure in Syracuse with my friend, Patty, this morning. But when I woke up in a panic and glanced at the clock, it wasn't even 5 AM and I was no where near missing those fabulous deals. Whew.

Wishing: California wasn't so far away. This week I had a Skype date with my friend, Gina, who recently moved to Los Angeles. As a rule, I dislike talking on the phone or Skype, but even more than my dislike for those forms of communication is my dislike for the 2,637.7 miles between us, so I'll make exceptions to that rule. 

Thinking about: Mother's Day and just how incredibly blessed I am to be able to kiss my sweet boy, to comfort him, to nourish him, to love on him and watch him grow. In the five months since Carson was born, three couple-friends of Herm and I have had to give their babies back to God. My heart aches for those dear mothers, their arms empty this Mother's Day. I never want to take life for granted, it is fragile and wonderful and meant to be cherished. 

Listening: To podcast's and audio books while traveling, preparing dinner, cleaning, and gardening. I love to read, but have a really hard time sitting still long enough to get through books. So instead, I will often listen to them. Two recent favorites were A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini and Marriage + Covenant by Kris Vallotton.

Watching: Nothing at the moment, but tomorrow night I am joining some lady-friends to go see Mom's Night Out. While I'm not much of the movie watching type, this one promises to be fun, and I have a feeling we all will be able to relate to it. =)

Trying: To stick with my workout routine even though the Seneca7 is over. Signing up for a race while pregnant was one of the best fitness decisions I've made. I ran the Seneca7 last year as well, but I was eight weeks pregnant at the time, so I didn't push myself as hard as I could have. This year I wanted to do well; I wanted to keep up with or stay very close behind the rest of my all male teammates paces. Like I said earlier, winter was especially hard this year, and I wasn't willing to run out-of-doors with my newborn unless it was above the 20 degree mark and not windy outside. In New York days like that are rare, so I had to improvise. Instead of running hard every day, I added a lot of HIIT workouts and kettlebell workouts to my routine along with yoga and core. It worked! I was able to run even faster than I could run before I became pregnant! Now that the race is over, I don't want to lose momentum or motivation. Maybe I should sign up for another race to keep me going?

Happy weekend!
Sarah