My Armpits are Sweaty

You know how so many people will ask a question on Facebook and say, “Cute photo for attention” because it really has nothing to do with the post, but they still want to spark conversation. Well, this is a photo for attention.
I don’t smoke but I am about to ask you a question. 

I’ve missed this space. I miss the late-nighters when inspiration is flowing and I don’t have to work hard to string words into sentences. I miss the clarity that writing brings to my mind. This space was my favorite hobby for so long, and I’m sorry I abandoned it. But I’ve also craved privacy, especially last year, when it felt like I was very misunderstood by friends and strangers alike on topics I’ve been so passionate about.

Do you ever feel like that?

Sometimes I wish I could jump back in where I left off—back when life felt easier—biking around the lake with Carson in tow, running races, and checking things off my 23 before 24 list. I think I was pretty oblivious to life outside my every day moments, which was likely both a blessing and a curse.

Sometimes I wish I could jump back in and share everything currently on my mind with all the honesty and bluntness of an Ennegram 8. (A personality type I am not, but sort of wish I were.)
Now I need to work hard to notice the little every day moments, because too often I miss them, I’ve been so distracted with what is happening politically in New York and across the nation.

I voted last year for the first time in my life.

I’m sort of embarrassed to admit that truth. I never really saw the importance of voting—when typically the leading candidates are all horrible options—until medical freedom was at stake, and then stripped away.

Did I tell you I’m a homeschooling mom? I swore I’d never been one, but last year I wasn’t given a choice.

I love to read.

One of my favorite topics: World War 2. Fiction, memoirs, biographies, I’ll devour them all. One of my dearest friends survived war-torn Germany. She is my hero, proof that hard times don’t have to turn you bitter, and she is also the reason I’m so keen on learning all I can about the era.

I read a fiction book last week, Cilka’s Journey by Heather Morris. I couldn’t put it down, and when I finished the last page, I began to google information about the real Cilka and the labor camp she spent years of her life at, after already surviving Auschwitz, which was an actual hell on earth.

Books like this give me a warped sense of security. History repeats itself. Cilka survived; I will survive.

Have you ever read the about Germany right before the war? Do you know what was taught in schools and heavily pushed and promoted?

Sexual promiscuity was encourage. (Have you seen the bills on Sex Ed in NYS right now? If you aren’t already talking to your kindergartener about sex, you might want to start — or the school might beat you to it. Hint: The language in this bill is mild, but what your third grader is going to be learning if this bill passes is not mild.)

Lying to your parents or family was encouraged for the sake of loyalty to your country and for the “common good”. (Have you read the articles on how to hide your medical history from your parents? You can get anything from an HPV vaccine or birth control or an abortion without them ever knowing—and there are lots of articles online on just how to do it.)

Propaganda was rampant about Jews spreading infectious diseases like typhus, even if they didn’t have it. (Have you seen what is happening in NYS right now? Doctors offices and schools and daycare centers are kicking families out if they choose not to vaccinate. And sites like Parent.com spreading propaganda, with articles saying you shouldn’t allow your child to be with a non vaccinated child because, you know, they are spreading measles, even when they don’t have it.)

In concentration camps they forced medical procedures on the inmates and used them as safety trials for new medications. (Have you seen what happened in CA and NY? Are you paying attention? You don’t have much say in whether you choose to vaccinate or not. And have you seen the long term safety studies on those forced vaccinations? No? Let me tell you why: It’s because YOU are a part of the safety trial.)

Censorship was everywhere. (Search #vaccineinjured on Instagram or Facebook. We are being heavily censored too.)

There is nothing new under the sun.

I’ve had people ask me why I care so much about this topic. I really want to ask the reverse. No matter your stance on vaccines, if you aren’t paying attention and speaking out about these mandates, why? How much of your freedom are you willing to give up? I heard a politician say he thinks the government should have a say in family planning for American families to help curb over-population. If the government can take over this aspect of our lives, forcing a liability-free biologic on our children, I don’t doubt for a second they’d try to control the amount of children we have too. Would you speak up then?

I used to wonder how things like slavery or the Holocaust happened? Why didn’t people take a stand? I see now though, that it happened because of indifference—something I’ve been guilty of—because people saw injustice but weren’t directly impacted by it, so they didn’t act on it.

[NOTE ADDED FOR CLARITY: A reader reached out to me, uncomfortable by my comparison of the horrors of slavery, the holocaust, and segregation with medical mandates like vaccines, because one is based on something you cannot control, like race or skin color, and the other is based on something you choose to opt out of, like vaccinations. I really value her input, which is why I am adding this clarification. I am not here trying to make these appear “equal”. My point is this—all of these things were/are unjust. Harriet Tubman could have lived a quiet life as a free woman when she escaped slavery, but she saw an injustice and said ENOUGH. Corrie ten Boom could have ignored what was happening to her Jewish neighbors, but she saw an injustice and said ENOUGH. Rosa Parks could have given up her rightful seat so as not to cause a stir, but she saw the injustice of the situation and said ENOUGH. These women all stepped out of line, breaking the law in order to bring justice. Yes, I have the “choice” to opt out of a mandate because I am able to homeschool, but a lot of families in New York State don’t have that option. It is more expensive than public school, and it is a big time commitment, that isn’t easy, especially for a single parent or family where both parents work full time. There are special needs children though, one in my neighborhood, who had valid medical exemptions, but this year were kicked out of school too. They had horrible reactions from vaccinations in the past, yet they can’t attend school unless they are willing to risk another reaction (which could mean death). Tell me, what kind of “choice” is that? I am not comparing one horror to another, I am saying STEP THE HELL OUT OF LINE! Both healthy and immunocompromised kids are being kicked out of school, private Amish schools are being forced to close down because of “public health” even though they aren’t open to the public, and there is talk of detention centers and a non-vaccinated registry—yellow star of sorts—so that people can avoid (or bully and shame) anyone not complying.]

A new kind of segregation is back in school; 26,000 children are not legally allowed to attend any school, public or private, across the state.

Truth will always prevail—but it’ll show itself sooner if people would speak up immediately when things are out of sort.

Step out of line.

I am fighting. Are you?

“First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.”

(This quickly turned from a brief update to a mind-dump. This is the refined version of what has been playing in my head ever since June 13th, 2019, the day dishonest legislators bribed a vote, and my life turned upside down. The real, unedited version is very crude — because I cuss a little (actually, a lot) and I call people out for being two-face. But I not an Ennegram 8; I care too much about what people think of me to share the real, real. It’s a good thing I have a natural deodorant that works. Even sharing this is causing my armpits to sweat.)


  1. Go you, go girl. A brave, honest voice in an overwhelming tide of voices who are screaming to be heard, yet at times saying nothing. I will always admire the ones brave enough to plant their feet firmly on their beliefs refusing to be swayed by others discomfort. Unmoving because their focus was never in bringing you comfort, but in bringing you truth.

  2. I appreciate your honesty, Sarah. I am not against vaccines, but I am against removal of choice. Good for you for speaking out.

  3. Yes, sister. (Brooke yokovich)
    My son just started preschool at a private Christian school in Indiana and neither public nor private have problems with a student not being vaccinated but they are giving us problems about the doctrine we believe in and type of church we go to, we have a chance with an interview but if he/we don't get accept into the school,i will be home schooling. If you would have told me I may have to home school as recent as this past October, I would have probably kicked and screamed and cried but recently God has been revealing himself to me so intimately and beautifully, I (think) have (especially after reading this post) decided to go for the home schooling. Its going to push me and challenge me to grow stronger in my faith and beliefs and only make me a better mother, teacher, wife, friend, sister, daughter, advocate, prayer warrior etc. I'll get to research and investigate which usually always takes over any amount of free time I get anyway (where I try insert a "hobby") I am passionate about the truth girl and so are you and I don't want my children to have to search for the truth I want to be able to give/guide it to them. We are SO blessed, and I thank God every day and night, I have the opportunity to be home with them so why not really do it up? Go beyond the housekeeping, dinner, laundry, and really, truly be their guide, their teacher even right now as simple as February being the month of love and doing heart crafts. Pray girl pray God keeps revealing himself to you and the truth throughout this journey!!