12/22/14

Eucharisteo

Eucharisteo : Thanksgiving 


Eucharisteo || sarahesh.blogspot.com


Number one on the list: Record daily things I am grateful for

I truly believe that a contented and thankful spirit requires intentional gratitude. It doesn't just happen. Bowing my head before a meal and whispering a quick thanks won't make thanksgiving spill over into my heart. 

I know this personally.

     9. For a chubby little boy who depends on me for his every need
     10. For slobbery wet kisses
     11. Sunshine and yard work and long afternoon naps


I purchased a blank notebook and began recording last June. My heart was heavy and angry and I was so tired of being tired. It wasn't a physical tired that I felt, it was emotional. A soul drained. Empty. Lacking.

I chose to write only positive things in that book. It wouldn't know my frustrations or the causes behind my anger. But perhaps ink soaking into the crisp pages things of thankfulness my heart would change.

A habit began to form. The more I recorded, the more I noticed.

     65. Tom + Hannelore
     66. Spontaneous swimming ventures with Aleah after blueberry picking in the heat of the day
     67. Story-time 

Summer was busy. There were days where the notebook was neglected. Recording wasn't a miracle pill, but my drained soul slowly began to feel alive again.

     95. For Herm. Always, Herm
     96. Foggy Monday mornings and the sun shining through
     ...
     110. For passports and plans of travel with my Mahlon and mini-Mahlon
     111. Clean laundry; washed, dried, folded, and put away

Summer turned to Autumn and days where I hammered into my journal of gratitude became fewer and fewer. Not because I wasn't thankful, I was. Life was still very busy and I didn't work hard enough to keep it a priority.

Then tragedy. And after five long weeks of fighting, the life of my childhood friend was whisked away. "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:18) Give thanks, even is this? How? I still don't have the answers. I need time to learn how to give hard eucharisteo.

So I picked up the book One Thousand Gifts and began to read it again; to soak in the poetic lines of grace and thankfulness in both good and bad. "Who would ever know the greater graces of comfort and perseverance, mercy and forgiveness, patience and courage, if no shadows fell over a life?"  

I reach for a pen, and with determined force I hammer again because joy is not the absence of suffering. Joy is the presence of God.

     176. Seasons, one fading in to another. Ever changing. Ever glorious.
     177. Laughter and delight that one so young adds to life
     178. Rainbows; a promise of hope, of sovereignty, of healing

5 comments:

  1. This is powerful!
    because joy is not the absence of suffering. Joy is the presence of God.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is definitely a perspective shift for me. I'm still on the journey of learning joy because of His presence and not my circumstances.

      Delete
  2. this is so good...I need to try this. Been wanting to read that book too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The book is so good! I'm reading through it for the second or third time... I highly recommend it.

      Delete
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